8 Tips to Support a Loved One in a Mental Health Crisis

So many people face mental health challenges, and all too often, these struggles go unnoticed or unaddressed. And sadly, many of us have learned too late that someone dear to us desperately needed our help.

Knowing the signs and providing proper support can make a significant difference in your loved one’s journey toward healing. These tips can help you support your loved one and prevent the escalation of a mental health crisis until professional help can be accessed. They can also help you feel prepared to provide comfort and care in a time of need.

The tips in this article ARE NOT a substitute for professional treatment. But they are strategies designed to help you support both yourself and your loved ones in times of distress. By recognizing the signs, offering empathy, and creating safe spaces, you can make a meaningful impact in someone’s mental health journey.

***Make sure you download the FREE “Supportive Conversation Guide: How to Talk with Empathy and Compassion”, with more tips on talking to your loved one.***

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1. Recognize the Signs of Mental Health Struggles

Recognizing the signs of mental health struggles is the first step in offering meaningful support, whether for yourself or someone else. Early identification can make a significant difference in preventing more severe mental health challenges from developing. Understanding these signs is essential for providing the right kind of help when it’s most needed.

Recognizing the Signs Early

It goes without saying that the earlier mental health struggles are recognized, the better the chances of managing them effectively. But early signs of distress are often subtle and easily overlooked, so being aware of these indicators can help prevent a more severe crisis.

The signs tend to appear gradually, but changes in behavior or emotional state are usually the first indicators. For instance, someone who is usually energetic may start to withdraw, or a person who is generally calm might suddenly appear agitated more often.

When you can acknowledge these shifts early, intervention can guide your loved one toward the support and help they need before their situation worsens.

Everyone’s Experience is Different

While some signs of mental health struggles are common, it’s important to remember that everyone experiences mental health differently. What may be a clear sign of distress for one person might not be as apparent in someone else.

For example, someone may express their anxiety through irritability, while another might become more withdrawn. Similarly, depression might look like deep sadness for one person, but it could manifest as anger or frustration for another.

Understanding that everyone’s journey is unique allows for a more compassionate approach, free from assumptions. Listening carefully and being open to how your loved one is experiencing their mental health struggles is key to providing the right support.

Recognizing the signs of mental health struggles requires a balance of awareness, observation, and compassion. Early recognition allows for timely support, and understanding that each person’s experience is unique ensures that help is offered in a way that respects their particular needs.

Create a Safe Space

Ensuring that your loved one feels safe is the first step towards helping them. A safe space allows them to express their feelings without the fears of being judged, dismissed, or misunderstood.

• Be present: Offer your full attention, and avoid distractions like checking your phone or looking around while they speak.
  
• Respect boundaries: Recognize when they need space or time to gather their thoughts. It’s important not to pressure them to speak before they’re ready.
  
• Offer reassurance: Let them know that it’s okay to feel how they feel, and remind them that their emotions are valid. This can help alleviate the anxiety that often comes with sharing personal struggles.
  
• Maintain confidentiality: Reassure them that whatever they share with you will be kept confidential, unless there is a concern for their safety or the safety of others. This trust can be critical for their emotional well-being.

Approach with Kindness, Patience, and Non-Judgment

When someone is going through a mental health struggle, they are often feeling vulnerable, ashamed, or uncertain. Approaching them with kindness, patience, and non-judgment can ease these negative feelings.

• Kindness: Simple gestures like a gentle tone of voice, a calm presence, and reassuring language can help your loved one feel understood.
• Patience: Understand that it may take time for them to open up, so give them time to process their emotions since they may not have all the answers right away.
• Non-judgment: Avoid making judgments about their experiences, feelings, or actions. Instead, listen, reflect on their words, and let them know you’re there to support, not to criticize. Refrain from offering “quick fixes” or advice because it can make them feel misunderstood or dismissed.

Use Active Listening

Active listening is a powerful tool for connecting with someone who is struggling emotionally. It goes beyond simply hearing their words, and shows that you’re truly listening to what they’re saying.

• Reflect and validate: Acknowledge their emotions by reflecting what they’ve shared to show that you’re listening carefully and taking their feelings seriously. You can say things like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed,” or “That must be really difficult for you.”
• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage them to share more about their experience by asking questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Try saying, “Can you tell me more about what you’re feeling?” or “What do you think might help right now?”
• Avoid interrupting: Let them speak at their own pace, and resist the urge to interrupt or offer solutions before they finish. Sometimes, they may just need to vent or express their emotions without being immediately “fixed.”
• Non-verbal cues: Nodding in understanding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning in slightly can all signal that you’re engaged and focused on them.

Knowing Your Limits When Supporting Others

You can only provide help if you’re in a mentally and emotionally healthy place yourself. Overextending yourself or taking on too much won’t allow you to support your loved one effectively.

• Recognize signs of emotional exhaustion: If you start feeling overwhelmed, drained, or emotionally detached, it might be time to step back and reassess. It’s okay to acknowledge that you can’t do everything for everyone, and that taking care of your own mental health is just as important as being there for others.
• Be mindful of your own needs: Ask yourself if you have the emotional energy, time, and mental clarity to provide support. If you’re finding that supporting others is consistently leaving you feeling depleted or stressed, it may be necessary to reassess how much support you’re providing.
• Be clear and direct: Be honest and transparent with your loved one about what you can and cannot offer. For example, you might say, “I really want to help, but I can’t offer emotional support right now. Let’s find a professional who can guide you through this.”

The Importance of Professional Help

• Expert guidance: Mental health professionals, such as therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists, have the training and experience to offer tailored strategies and coping mechanisms that are specific to your loved one’s needs.
• Objective perspective: If your loved one finds it difficult to talk about their struggles with friends or family because of perceived judgment or emotional entanglement, professionals can provide an impartial, non-judgmental viewpoint.
• Crisis intervention: In more severe cases, such as when someone is at risk of self-harm or suicide, a mental health professional can offer critical intervention strategies and help manage these high-risk situations.
• Ongoing support: Mental health professionals offer consistent support through scheduled sessions, providing ongoing help that can lead to long-term improvement and personal growth.

How to Suggest Therapy to Others

When suggesting therapy or professional help, it’s important to do so in a compassionate and non-judgmental way.

• Normalize the experience: You can start by normalizing therapy as a helpful tool, not as something reserved for “severe” cases. Phrases such as, “A lot of people find therapy helpful, and it can be a great space for understanding yourself better” can reduce the stigma surrounding mental health care.
• Be empathetic and respectful: Recognize that seeking therapy can feel intimidating, so offer reassurance to let them know you understand. You could say, “It might feel overwhelming at first, but finding a therapist who you feel comfortable with can really help. You deserve that kind of support.”
• Provide resources: If they seem open to the idea, offer information about how to find a therapist or mental health professional. You could suggest looking up local resources, contacting their insurance provider for mental health benefits, or providing information on online therapy services.
• Suggest contacting a Crisis Hotline: Crisis hotlines are available 24/7 and offer trained professionals who can provide immediate support, assess the situation, and guide your loved one toward the appropriate care. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) is a direct line to confidential help. Similar services are available in other countries as well.
• Support without pressure: Encourage them to explore therapy without pushing them into it, because it’s important that they feel in control of their decision. Sometimes, just planting the seed can open the door for future consideration.

• Be a Good Listener: Offer your full attention when they speak, and resist the urge to interrupt or offer advice unless asked. Sometimes, the best support is simply listening without judgment.
• Check In Regularly: Send a text, make a phone call, or have a casual meet-up. A brief message like, “I’m thinking of you, hope you’re doing okay” can go a long way. Regular check-ins demonstrate that you care and helps them to feel supported.
• Offer to Help with Practical Tasks: Offer assistance with daily responsibilities that might feel overwhelming, such as running errands, preparing meals, or helping with household chores. Mental health struggles can make even the simplest tasks feel insurmountable.
• Respect Their Boundaries: If they need time alone, honor that request, but continue offering support through text, a note, or a simple gesture of care. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to emotional sharing and social interaction.
• Help Them Explore Professional Resources: If they’re open to it, help them find a therapist, counselor, support group, or look into online therapy platforms that may be more accessible. Sometimes, the hardest step is finding the right professional help.
• Engage in Shared Activities: Invite them to do something they enjoy or used to enjoy, like going for a walk, watching a movie together, or doing an art project. Doing something enjoyable can help lift their mood, even if only momentarily.
• Offer Emotional Reassurance: Reassure them that they are not alone in their struggles and that seeking help is a brave and necessary step. Mental health struggles often come with feelings of shame or guilt, but this can help remove some of that self-doubt.
• A Simple Text or Call: Sometimes, just letting someone know you’re thinking of them can make a world of difference. It can go a long way in helping someone feel seen and valued.
• Offering a Meal or a Cup of Tea: Bringing them something to eat or a simple drink can be a way to show you care without expecting anything in return.
• Physical Presence: Your presence itself can be soothing during difficult times, so just sitting with them in silence can offer comfort without words.
• Offering a Safe Place: If they need somewhere to go to escape their current environment, offering your home or a calm space to gather their thoughts can show that you’re there for them in a tangible way.

Panic Attacks:

• During a panic attack, they may experience overwhelming feelings of fear, a racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, or a sense of losing control.
• Stay calm and reassure them that the feelings they are experiencing, while frightening, are temporary and will pass.
• Let them know they’re safe and that you’re there to help.

Depressive Episodes:

• When someone is in a depressive episode, they may seem withdrawn, sad, hopeless, or express feelings of worthlessness or despair.
• Acknowledge their emotions without trying to “fix” them immediately, and offer empathy and understanding rather than attempting to cheer them up or tell them to “snap out of it.”
• People in depressive episodes often need validation and reassurance, and your calm presence can make a big difference.

Speaking in a Calm Tone

In tense situations, speaking in a calm, composed, and reassuring tone can significantly impact how your loved one feels while experiencing the crises.

• Use a soft, steady voice and avoid raising your tone.
• Phrases like, “I’m here with you,” or “You’re safe right now” can offer reassurance and comfort.
• Speak slowly to give the person time to process what you’re saying.
• Allow your calm voice to act as an anchor for the person.

Not Escalating the Situation

During a mental health crisis, your loved one may be feeling out of control or highly emotional, which can sometimes result in escalating the situation further.

• Stay mindful of your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Avoid making sudden movements or loud noises that could increase their anxiety.
• Do not argue or try to reason with them when they’re in a highly emotional state. Instead, focus on calming and validating their experience.
• If they are getting upset or agitated, remain non-defensive and try to stay patient.
• Stay grounded and non-reactive, to provide the stability they need in a crisis.

Tips on De-escalating Tense Situations

De-escalation is a process of reducing emotional intensity and helping your loved one regain control over their emotions.

• Acknowledge their feelings: Validate their emotions by saying things like, “I can see that you’re feeling really anxious right now,” or “It sounds like this situation is really upsetting for you” to help them feel heard and understood.
• Use grounding techniques: If they are dissociating or feeling disconnected, suggest grounding techniques to bring their attention away from their inner turmoil and back to the present. You can guide them to notice five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste (the “5-4-3-2-1” method).
• Give them space if needed: If they are becoming overwhelmed, offering physical space can help them regain composure. Just be sure to reassure them that you’re available to talk when they’re ready.
• Keep your words simple and direct: In high-stress situations, they may have trouble processing complex sentences, so use short, clear phrases to communicate. For example, “I’m here,” “You’re safe,” or “Let’s breathe together” are simple and effective ways to calm someone down.
• Avoid confrontation: If they are upset or angry, avoid trying to argue or reason with them because it will only escalate the situation. Instead, focus on listening, acknowledging their feelings, and offering comfort.

The Value of Trust

When your loved one opens up about deeply personal information, such as feelings of depression, anxiety, or even suicidal thoughts, they are placing their trust in you. Your response should show that you value their openness.

• Be sure that you listen attentively, offer empathy, and avoid judgment.
• Keep the information they share confidential unless there’s an immediate need to share it for safety reasons.
• Assure them that what they are sharing will be kept private, unless otherwise discussed.
• Maintaining confidentiality fosters a safe space where they can express their emotions freely, knowing they won’t be judged or exposed.
• You can build trust by being consistent in your responses, respecting their boundaries, and always showing empathy and compassion.
• If they feel that their trust has been broken, it can lead to feelings of betrayal, isolation, and shame, causing them to shut down emotionally and withdraw from seeking further support.
• When trust is nurtured, they feel more comfortable reaching out for help and may be more open to receiving professional support in the future.

When Sharing Information is Necessary

While confidentiality is important, there are situations where sharing information may be necessary, especially if your loved one is in immediate danger or if they explicitly give you permission to share certain details with others, like family members or professionals.

When They Are in Immediate Danger: If they express or demonstrate a risk of harming themselves or others, it may be necessary to involve a professional or call emergency services. For instance, if they are contemplating suicide or have a specific plan, it’s vital to seek help, even if they haven’t explicitly asked for it.

When They Give Permission to Share: Sometimes, they may feel more comfortable opening up to a trusted friend or family member or may ask for help in reaching out to a therapist or professional. In this case, you should still maintain the spirit of confidentiality by only sharing what they are comfortable with. Always ask for permission before disclosing any personal information.

When Legal or Ethical Duty Requires It: In some cases, mental health professionals (or others in caregiving roles) may have a legal or ethical obligation to break confidentiality in certain situations. This might include situations where abuse is suspected, or if your loved one is underage or vulnerable, and there is a need to report to the authorities

8. Know When to Call for Help

While offering emotional support and practical guidance is essential, there are situations where professional help is necessary to ensure your loved one’s safety and well-being. Recognizing the signs that indicate it’s time to involve emergency services or mental health professionals can make a life-saving difference.

Signs that Emergency Services Are Needed

Suicidal Thoughts or Plans:

• If they express or imply that they are thinking of harming themselves, have a specific plan, or are actively contemplating suicide.
• If they say something like, “I can’t do this anymore,” or “I just want the pain to stop”. Even if they don’t have a specific plan, suicidal ideation is a major red flag.
• When they’ve ingested harmful substances, mentioned specific suicidal plans, or expressed a desire to end their life.

Threat of Self-Harm:

• If they are engaging in behaviors that could result in self-harm (e.g., cutting, overdosing), and the situation is not immediately under control.
• If you see signs of them physically harming themselves or if they have the means to do so.
• If they have made direct threats to harm themselves or have already taken steps to do so.

Violent or Aggressive Behavior:

• If they are becoming physically aggressive or exhibiting violent behavior
• If they are threatening to harm others.
• If they are engaging in dangerous behaviors, such as running into traffic, harming themselves, or becoming violent toward others

Unconsciousness or Overdose:

• If they have taken an overdose or are unconscious, even if they are unaware of the severity.
• If they are unable to stay awake, are unresponsive, or have taken drugs or alcohol in excess.

When to Contact a Suicide Prevention Hotline

Suicide prevention hotlines, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988 in the U.S.), are manned by trained counselors who can offer guidance and connect your loved one with appropriate resources.

Suicidal Thoughts or Plans:

• If they express that they are feeling hopeless, suicidal, or are making plans to harm themselves but you are not in a position to manage the situation on your own
• If they say, “I don’t know if I can go on anymore,” or share that they have a specific plan to end their life

When You’re Unsure About the Severity of the Crisis:

• If you’re uncertain whether they are in immediate danger but they’re displaying signs of emotional distress or talking about suicide
• If they are speaking about feeling overwhelmed and depressed but haven’t directly stated they want to harm themselves

When You’re Not Sure What to Do Next:

• If you feel out of your depth in dealing with their emotional state or are unsure how to help them
• If they are non-communicative, distant, or appear to be shutting down emotionally, but you sense that they may need immediate help

Why Calling for Professional Help is Essential

• Protecting Their Life: Professionals are trained to assess risks and provide immediate care that can prevent self-harm, protect from dangerous behaviors, and offer life-saving interventions.
• Providing Specialized Care: Mental health professionals, such as those in crisis teams or on suicide prevention hotlines, have specialized skills in de-escalating high-stress situations and providing the necessary emotional and psychological support.
• Ensuring Long-Term Support: Calling for professional help can initiate a pathway for continued support, including therapy, counseling, or hospitalization, all of which can help your loved one recover and find long-term solutions to their mental health struggles.

Providing immediate support to your loved ones that are experiencing mental health crises can give comfort and guidance before professional help is available. By offering it, you can help reduce stigma, provide immediate relief, and potentially save lives.

Small, compassionate actions—like listening actively, offering a safe space, or simply showing empathy—can make a significant difference in your loved one’s recovery and well-being.

But remember that taking care of your own mental health is just as important as supporting others. To be an effective source of support, it’s essential to prioritize your well-being and practice self-care. Every small step you take can create a more supportive, compassionate world for those who need it most.

Don’t forget to download the FREE “Supportive Conversation Guide: How to Talk with Empathy and Compassion” below!